


Empty

by itskimdaily



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 12:42:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13547562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itskimdaily/pseuds/itskimdaily
Summary: Sometimes people are completely lost.  Sometimes love isn’t enough. But it’s a fact that life isn’t complicated, humans that turn everything into a chaotic novel inspired by William Shakespeare.





	Empty

“What do you want from me?“ Bucky whispered tired, running his right hand through his hair and avoiding to look at her direction.

“What?” she frowned, extremally confused with his sudden question. Sitting on the sofa opposite of him, she let go of her purse and reached out her hand to touch his knee “Bucky, what’s wrong?”

“I’m empty, (Y/N).” he said with disgust from himself, his breathing getting heavy as he supported his head in his hands and stared at the floor. “I can’t do this.”

“Baby, wait a second.” she was so lost, they were going to meet Steve and his girlfriend to a double date… They were fine. She bit her lower lip, staring at the super soldier’s feature to try to understand what he might be thinking… But it was in vain “Why are you saying this? What you can’t do?”

“This. Us.” he finally looked at her direction, swallowing hard before taking a deep breath, he was thinking about this for weeks “I have to confess something.”

“James, is that subject again? I don’t care about your past, I know. But I don’t care, it wasn’t really you.“ she smiled tenderly, giving him a slight squeeze on his knee trying to show support but Bucky just shook his head.

“I thought you’d complete me, that you’d erase all the pain that I felt in my brain.” he started, his voice was so low that was almost a whisper. He licked his lips and looked again away. His heart was beating fast, he didn’t want to see her face change to a sad one “But it’s not like that at all. Look at you every day just makes me remember who I was and I can’t forgive myself, I can’t.”

“Bucky, please… Don’t do this.” she murmured, trying to control her tears, but it was too late she could only sniff silently and hide her face in her hands.

“It’s better like this, for now at least. I can’t give you what you really need.” he got up and ran again his hand through his hair, his eyes going in her direction making his heart sank in his chest “You can fill my heart with love, but you can’t fill my voids above.  I’m so sorry, (Y/N).”

Bucky left his keys of her apartment that she gave to him and then turned on his heels, walking silently towards the door without looking back. He could hear her crying, his chest tightening even more. He didn’t want to make her sad. But it was better this way. It should be. He couldn’t be wrong. Not with her. When Bucky closed the door and walked the dark hallway… He never felt that empty before. But it was too late. He couldn’t go back. This would have to be better off in some way.

 

* * *

 

She was more beautiful than before. If that was even possible. Smiling as she walked side by side with Clint, her body a little bit sweaty after the workout but that just made him want her even more. Steve cleared his throat making Bucky jump slightly and glance at another direction, scratching his neck when he realized he had been caught once again watching her. It was being harder than he thought it would be. After going away from her house that day, he tried with all his strength to keep himself out of her sight. But it was inevitable not to look at where she was every goddamn time. Bucky felt Steve’s hand on his shoulder, squeezing a bit to call his attention and smiling sadly when the brunette frowned.

“You need to stop doing this, Bucky.” Steve whispered quietly, glancing at (Y/N) that has turned to another way and didn’t notice the super soldiers “It’s been months already.”

“I’ve fucked up, right?” Bucky groaned under his breath, closing his eyes for a second before shaking his head and walking toward the quinjet with Steve.

“She’s finally fine on her own, Buck. So, if you’re thinking of trying to win her back… Think twice.” Steve declared and then turned to give the final orders about the mission.

 

* * *

 

“He was clearly looking at you, (Y/N).” Clint crooned in her ear, smiling proudly when she blushed hard and changing the direction of where she was headed “Oh, c’mon!”

“Don’t, please.” she whispered quietly, without looking at where the two super soldiers were.

“(Y/N)… You know already why he did that.” Clint whined, holding her arm so she wouldn’t keep walking away from the conversation “Bucky spent three months away after the breakup. And I’ll repeat myself to you: the mission was already scheduled. It was a shit mission. He almost died if it wasn’t his super stupid soldier dna.”

“I already know that!” (Y/N) hissed, throwing her hands into the air in frustration as she entered the common room with Clint, ignoring the redhead that already was there reading a magazine. 

“You miss him, don’t you?” Natasha suddenly declared, taking her gaze away from her magazine and looking at their direction. 

“Of course, why wouldn’t I? I still love him.” the younger answered in a whisper, falling on the sofa and resting her head in her hands “But he broke up with me.”

 

* * *

 

“Agent (L/N), status.” Steve ordered as he stared at the screen. “(Y/N), status!”

“Wait, cap. I can’t see her.“ Clint grunted husky at his comm, and everyone was able to hear his effort as he walked the ruins, probably going in (Y/N)’s direction “Shit! Code ten double zero, Cap.”

“What happened, Barton?” Steve said apprehensively, holding his best friend’s shoulder when he noticed him tensing by his side.

“ _(Y/N) was shot._ ” 

He couldn’t feel his heart beating. It seemed like his heart has stopped when he heard those three words. He should have gone to that fucking mission with her and Barton. He should be there to help her. But he was a fucking pussy. A coward, totally afraid of being denied by her. And now he could lose her forever.

“Bucky stop.” Steve yelled exasperated when the brunette started pacing around and didn’t seem to be listening anymore.

“What?” Bucky growled, his breathing getting heavy and his heart that seemed that would jump off his chest.

“Keep yourself together. I want you there when Barton comes back with (Y/N).” the Captain America stated, Bucky opened his mouth to retort but Steve raised a hand “That’s an order, sergeant.” 

 

* * *

 

Blood. There was blood everywhere. Clint held (Y/N) close to his chest, ignoring the nurses with the stretcher and running towards the hospital wing. He didn’t even saw Bucky standing there with an extremely pale face. When the former assassin found his strength to move and run to follow Clint, he felt that it was too late. His heart was beating so hard that he could feel the buzz in his ear. The last time Bucky felt such fear was when he was still the young sergeant James Barnes. Actually, he never really felt this kind of fear like he was feeling at that moment.

“C’mon, (Y/N)! Dammit!” Clint yelled, pacing around the bed where Dr. Cho tried to distinguish which were the worst wounds and then deciding to help the asian woman by ripping what was left of the younger bloodstained clothes “Shit, kid. You’re so fucked up.”

“ _(Y/N)_.” Bucky whispered quietly, his breath getting stuck in his throat, his legs getting weaker to the point he had to support his hand on the wall.

That couldn’t be happening. He sniffed, trying to contain his tears as he watched Clint close his hand into a fist and trying to make a desperate cardiac massage on the unconscious girl. Dr. Cho stopped what she was doing, letting the equipment fall with a thud on the floor, her hands trembling slightly as she let out a sob. Clint still tried in vain to bring (Y/N)’s heart to beat again, it was possible to see the archer tears start to wash away (Y/N)’s blood off his face. 

“ _Clint, stop_.” Bucky mumbled under his breath in horror, his face getting even paler with the scene, but the archer didn’t seem to listen. In fact, Clint kept yelling (Y/N)’s name and now held her shoulders and shook her. “Clint, stop!”

Bucky screamed so loud that made Dr. Cho jump to get away from the room as Clint finally stopped moving. The super soldier rushed toward the bed when the blond man fell to the ground, crying harder and whispering ‘I’m sorry’ between his sobs. But the former assassin wasn’t listening anymore, his glassy eyes glued to (Y/N)’s body. All that red blood contrasted with the body already without color.  _She was gone_. He wasn’t able to protect her. Even after trying so hard to keep her away from his dangerous life. Bucky screamed in pain. Holding (Y/N) in his arms and rocking slowly. He cried so hard that his body was shaking. What would be of his life now? After trying to thinking of a way o get back to her… Destiny was so cruel to him. But deep inside he knew, he deserved. If he wasn’t a coward she would be with him and alive. And happy.

 

* * *

 

“Are you sure of this, James?” Natasha asked quietly, taking the ring and looking sadly at her friend. Bucky just nodded, his now slimmer face hidden by a beard. The redhead frowned, trying to keep her grief to herself to focus on helping the former Avenger.

“She was the only one I intended to marry.” Bucky husky voice whispered, he lowered his head trying to ignore the others stares and chuckled darkly “I was going to propose her that day.”

“James-” Steve sighed heavily but was interrupted by the brunette.

“Don’t. Just do whatever you guys want to with the ring.” Bucky gave a quick glance to the ring in Natasha’s hand and then turned on his heels toward the gate “Goodbye, Steven. Take care of him, Natalia.”

“I will.” Natasha said under her breath as they watched Bucky disappear.

 

 

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**Author's Note:**

> I'll be glad to know what you're thinking about my work. Suggestions, comments and constructive criticism are welcome! ❤️


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